Teshuva
Being together at Eden, surrounded by nature and each other was such a special way to begin the new year. The sounds of birds in the trees talking to each other while we said ancient prayers brought a whole new feeling to Rosh Hashanah. The symbolism of the day is about rebirth, celebrating a new year, and this year the utter joy of being together.
The prayers, however, tell a somewhat different story. Without much warm up we are asked to confront ourselves with hard questions about ourselves and teshuva; looking at our actions, our guilt, and our shortcomings. To ease ourselves in, we sweeten the bitterness of self-reflection with apples and honey. But once the honey has been wiped off, and the last apple slices eaten, how do we begin this yearly self-reflection? Is it a matter of writing lists, both of wrongdoing and rightdoing? Ironically, the liturgy on Yom Kippur is gentler than on Rosh Hashanah, despite the physical strain of fasting.
During lockdown I read about a simple exercise to help put the day into perspective, to reflect, and to let go. I begin and end every day by asking myself three simple questions, and all they require is an answer that is specific. What do I need to let go of today? What am I grateful for at this moment? and What do I want to focus on? It is a helpful daily reminder to be self reflective, and as I practised it every day, it became clear how much it mirrors the teshuva process we are going through at the moment, but in a more structured way, which can help us ‘warm up’.
The first step is letting go, but to do that you have to reflect on what has been happening in your life, and seek to address situations that went wrong. The second step is to focus on gratefulness, for what you did right, for being able to change, for being here. And the third step is focus - what do you want the next year to look like?
We often associate teshuva with only looking at the wrongdoing we have done this year, but writing a list of all the rightdoing is also important, and this small exercise can help us get started on doing teshuva.
You can read the Rosh Hashanah sermon here: