Mazel Tov To Us by Rabbi Sandra Kviat
As we are in our B'nei Mitzvah year as a community, we will be bringing a range of thought pieces reflecting on what this ritual means both for individuals and for the community.
What do you have to do to have a Bar/Bat Mitzvah? It's a question I ask all students and their parents at the beginning of the journey. And it's an important question, for the answer is not what people usually think. The answers range from ‘doing lots of Jewish things’, or ‘being a good Jew’ to ‘reading from the Torah’, or ‘knowing all the prayers’ to blank stares and a ‘don't know’ shrug of the shoulders. It's of course a trick question - all you have to do is turn 13 (in the progressive Jewish world both boys and girls are celebrated at the same age). It’s like the process of becoming an adult in this country, which requires turning 18, but not really anything else. There are no ‘adult proficiency tests’, or exams in how to behave responsibly.
However, to be responsible adults who understand the values and systems of our society, children are required to learn to read, write, know a certain amount of maths, history, science etc to become independent grown ups. Jewish traditions say much the same thing - you need some Jewish literacy (Torah), understanding of our traditions and history (Festivals), experience in services (prayers), and ethics and our place in the world (Tikkun Olam project). And though reading from the scroll in front of everyone makes even the calmest student nervous, it is, nonetheless, not a test.
The honour of reading from the Torah for the first time is a coming of age experience, but more than introducing a bit of a challenge or danger for the student, the reason why we have this ritual I think, is that it is about using your voice. Whereas other cultures might ask a young person to battle with an animal, or go on a vision quest, or make them experience excruciating pain, in Judaism we value voice and thinking, which is why we ask our young people to help lead our services, using their thinking and their voice to create links to the past and the present elevating our experience of services through them. Every student has this opportunity no matter their skills or knowledge. Becoming b'nei mitzvah is the first time a young person takes responsibility for their own Jewish identity and journey and we will find a way for every child to make that choice if they wish to.
As the community is now in its 13th year we thought it would be fitting to use the structure of a b'nei mitzvah journey to help the Chavurah through its own rite of passage. And so there will be learning (from January), an opportunity to read from the Torah (or maybe reread your old BM portion), participating in our celebratory service on Saturday 29th March), several different ways to do Tikkun Olam and help repair our world or at least local area, and of course a big party in the summer.
Where a normal b'nei mitzvah is for the individual and their family, the community coming of age involves all of us, and gives us many different opportunities both to learn and participate.
We are looking for people who would like to learn, perhaps read Hebrew or leyn in a service, or just learn more about the prayers and what they mean. Or if you are handy with a needle or a hammer, we are also looking to redesign the prayer space, making the visual experience of the service more engaging. Or if you love planning a party or singing then we have something for you to do.
Becoming b'nei mitzvah is about exploring our tradition and using our voices and thinking to enrich our community. And we are all invited.