Order, Order
Seder, siddur, sidra - the word for order or structure in Hebrew comes in many forms. Some find comfort in order and structure, while for others it feels like a straightjacket. Like so many qualities, it’s about finding a balance between too much and it is stifling, and too little and it turns chaotic.
Our feelings this third time on the lockdown carousel do follow a certain order by now; the feelings of deflation, worry, uncertainty, frustration without anyone close to aim it at, boredom. Every conversation again begins with a gentle checking in to see how each person is coping.
And yet this third lockdown does not feel like those first two weeks nearly a year ago, when, for the first time in most people’s lives, the world really did grind to a halt. And though I’m glad to see that we have learnt from our experiences; there isn’t much panic buying, we do not have that outpouring of concern and kindness that we saw on every street, organising mutual aid groups etc. Those networks are, hopefully, still in use, and the help and thoughtfulness will still be there, but it is much less pronounced this time around. Anger, frustration, resentment, and thinking that others are not behaving as they should, that we are not behaving as we should, seems to be more prevalent.
One of the main lessons we all have had to learn is to let go of certainty, and to not look further ahead than a week at a time, no matter how dreary this is. We also found out how important it is to know what we do have control over, and create our own seder. And to realise the good in our lives, and be grateful. The practice of hakarat hatov, which I mentioned last week, hit the spot for many. Gratitude is a starting point, not an endpoint, and so the next steps after acknowledging the good in our lives, is to consider our role in creating it for others as well.
One way to do this that I have found useful is a morning seder, a practice that helps me begin the day how I want to (one of the areas we can control after all). When there’s a moment of calm and quiet I read the following morning meditation from our siddur, which I have copied and stuck to the wall above my desk.
“Thank You, Eternal God, for the gift of this new day; and help me to use it well. Keep me mindful of my responsibilities as a human being, created in your image, and as a member of the House of Israel. Make me strong against temptation, discouragement, and adversity. Let me not hurt others but contribute to their happiness and well-being. And may I add a little to the sum goodness in Your world”.
Whether you are comfortable with the concept of God or not, I think the conscious focus on each day as a gift (despite how monotonous our lives feel) and of being reminded to use it well can change our outlook. When the day looks bleak or overwhelming, by uttering words like these we can feel a little stronger, and less alone. “Adding a little to the sum goodness in this world” is a powerful reminder that we matter, and what we do can make a difference. It’s a way to remind ourselves of the kindness in us, towards others but also ourselves.
I invite you to consider adding this to your morning routine, or for the days that are especially difficult. There is also a lovely version for children, to help them begin and end the day well.
Morning and Evening meditations for adults & for children. Siddur Lev Chadash
Shabbat shalom